thedarkproject (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
thedarkproject) wrote2008-06-04 08:38 am
thedarkproject) wrote2008-06-04 08:38 am
reflections on a repetitive existence
Today I did something I've meant to do for weeks; get out of bed when I woke up, instead of pressing the 'snooze' button on my alarm clock 3 or 4 times. (In fact, my alarm is probably going off back at home now. Oops.) For some time I've felt strangely alert when I first wake, and then amazingly sluggish after the extra 20 to 30 minutes of half-sleep. It would be great to get up and go to work when my body tells me to rather than when the clock tells me to, and flexi-time at work allows me to do that, as long as I can train myself to always wake within that 2 hour window.
One thing already depressed me today though, and it's not even 9am yet. It's when you find yourself passing someone on the street when going to or from work, and then half a day later, you pass them again in the opposite direction. Often I wonder where the time goes - how is it June already? - and one answer to that is that it's been tied up in these half-days between seeing a person go one way and seeing them come back the other.
The person I passed is someone I recognise, though not someone I know. When I saw her last night, I remember what someone said about her, which was not entirely positive. It occurs to me that as the number of people you know grows, the chance of you having had someone warn you about each of those people approaches 100%. At the beginning, you are naïve and ripe for exploitation. At the end, you are cynical and wary of everybody. Is there a good middle ground? Some would argue that it's best to find things out for yourself, but ignoring all the advice of others is squandering a vast pool of intelligence and experience. It would be good if people told you about the positive traits of others alongside the negative, but we're either not so skilled at spotting those and summing them up, or not as motivated to share them. I wonder why.
One thing already depressed me today though, and it's not even 9am yet. It's when you find yourself passing someone on the street when going to or from work, and then half a day later, you pass them again in the opposite direction. Often I wonder where the time goes - how is it June already? - and one answer to that is that it's been tied up in these half-days between seeing a person go one way and seeing them come back the other.
The person I passed is someone I recognise, though not someone I know. When I saw her last night, I remember what someone said about her, which was not entirely positive. It occurs to me that as the number of people you know grows, the chance of you having had someone warn you about each of those people approaches 100%. At the beginning, you are naïve and ripe for exploitation. At the end, you are cynical and wary of everybody. Is there a good middle ground? Some would argue that it's best to find things out for yourself, but ignoring all the advice of others is squandering a vast pool of intelligence and experience. It would be good if people told you about the positive traits of others alongside the negative, but we're either not so skilled at spotting those and summing them up, or not as motivated to share them. I wonder why.
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I always reserve judgement on people until I meet them, in the hope that everyone else will grant me the same courtesy.
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Everybody has done some shitty stuff. If you stay in the same place all your life you find people still remember and blame you for things that happened 10 years ago when you were a completely different person..
When somebody tells me tales about another of my acquaintances, I listen to what they've got to say, make my own judgements on the validity of their complaint and whether they're the sort of person who is always complaining about people or the sort of person who is generally quite sound, and bear that in mind in future interactions with both of them.
Sometimes people warn you about others being violent, and ytou can often tell that about them anyway - violent people seem to hold themselves diferently - even if they seem nice at the time and swear blind they're pacifists you can see them throwing their weight around when they're drunk etc..
I wouldn't dismiss anyone out of hand because of a rumour - particularly among girls, particularly amongst the goth scene, rumour is used deliberately to discredit innocent people; exaggerations and chinese whispers can really pruin somebodies' life (I've had it happen to me more than once, in school and out of it, so I try to give the rumouree a chance to put their side of the story).
Get talking to her and when you know her a bit prod and find out for yourself ;)
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There are people in Nottingham that I have "warned" people about, I don't expect my friends to keep away from these people, just be on high alert I suppose!
I do agree that we've all done stupid/shitty stuff, I know I have... there are some actions I have taken that I would not like to be judged by! However, there are also some people who are just generally nasty/dangerous/annoying for some reason, and are to be avoided!
I try to mention people's good traits along with the bad.
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As for your part two: Discount a lot of what people tell you about others. Keep things in mind but don't let them put you off getting to know the person unless it crosses whatever threshold of acceptability you assign it. As you say people do always seem to communicate the negatives and ingore passing on the positives. Thus it's safe to assume that if you haven't heard anything about someone they must be fucking wonderful ;) Everyone has something bad said about them.
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